I'm of course talking about my pup side. What started as a basic enjoyment of dehumanisation and playfulness has come to be a whole section of my mind, one that is steadily infusing with who I am, and into my subconscious.
Pupspace, as I will call it, is a state of mind in which I feel total submission, it is one I can access instantly (unlike the wonderful world of subspace and it's glazed-over-trance-like-sex-robotiness, which needs a bit of work) and I find even the smallest dip into it almost intoxicating.
Sir fully supports the fact his boy is very happy being on all fours growling playfully, and appears to enjoy having me in a docile (well more docile than usual) state and playing.
Being in pupspace is refreshing, wonderful escapism. I lead a fairly hectic life with shift work and long hours, to enter into pupspace gets away from it all.
Whilst in it, my demeanour is that of simple, playful, loving submission. I love being in bed with Sir, being stroked, petted and having nice things said to me. A happy bark in reply. Having my tum tickled, and all the other things you'd generally do to a puppy. Yes, I'm 26, I'm hardly the youngest pup, but it's not about age, I don't find myself choosing how I react in pupspace, and my manner is that of a very very playful pup. I make Sir smile as he plays with me, and that's just what a pup should do.
Yesterday I added my penultimate thing to my pup 'gear' collection, that when complete will make me feel completely 100% kinky puppy through and through (the final item being a pup tail plug to poke through my rubber). Yesterday I fulfilled desires I've had for a few years, and finally shelled out a fair bit of cash on a premium lockable rubber muzzle. Five straps, pulled tight this puppy can't even bark quietly. It's heavily muffled mmphs at best. I LOVE it.
Sir strapped me into it before bed last night, him on the sofa, me on the pupbed beneath him. I felt truly at peace (so did Sir, given I rarely shut up and now couldn't utter a sound), I got up onto all fours, nuzzling his leg, a scratch behind the ears, and loving look into my eyes, and some comforting petting. Absolute perfection.
I can't wait to try it with my mitts (a brilliant present from Sir). Muzzled up, locked, on all fours, mitts locked on, perhaps in rubber, unable to say a thing, played with for a while, then locked in the cage for a few hours, left to curl up and just be left with my puppy thoughts.
Once muzzled or in any pupgear I find it almost upsetting to bring myself out of pupspace, my pupside doesnt like to be ignored, especially by me. Once i set him free he wont go away, its his time. I know that in the cage, kept like that, my pupspace wouldn't break. I'd just be there padding about, quietly growling and never being bored despite being unable to touch or do anything at all. In my place , where i belong, I could never be anything other than happy.
I've recently been excited hugely (which spurred on the desire to get this muzzle now) as Sir put forward the suggestion that I am kept as pup almost by default. He enjoys having me as this concentrated version of my personality, my loving caring attitude focused to the point of everything else being eclipsed in favour of showing total devotion to Sir, one that will do anything to make him smile and receive those heartfluttering words 'good puppy'.
I love hearing 'good boy', those words too make me fuzzy inside, but 'good puppy' triggers the attention seeking bouncy pupboy in the back of my mind, he's pretty new so when he gets acknowledged he gets excited. I love being called pup/puppy, and I especially love when it's preceded with the word 'good'.
So as I say, he's planning to keep me in pupspace a lot more. He reckons it'll keep me more obediently submissive on a day to day basis, and since I'm his slave 24/7, permanent obedience is required, and yes.. It's no secret that I do test his patience sometime, and this change in how i am kept is sure to make me very much the perfect obedient boy. Of course he loves a bit of cheek, so do I.. My boy is a very cheeky boy, but I love him all the more for having that personality, and it comes across so incredibly cute, especially when he's hiding and swiftly apologising!
I'm of course versatile, and while I'd say I manage the fact I'm both 24/7 slave AND an attentive dominant master to my boy, there are times when one will affect the other. These are my cheeky times. After a visit from the boy, and having been dominant most of time, I invariably end up being that bit more cheeky towards Sir.
Bringing this new pup regime into place, ordering me onto all fours (which is enough to drop me into pupspace as it is), muzzling me, putting me in my mitts, playing with and teasing me, before locking me away a while will be pretty effective in telling me who is boss, and putting me in the mindset where I don't want to be cheeky.
When we get our next place with just the two of us, Sir has told me I'm going to be experiencing a further shift towards absolute slavery, in that I'll basically become his housepuppy.. A cross between houseboy and puppy, where I shall be doing the domestic duties, and spending much of the rest of the time caged up while Sir goes about his evening.
I personally cannot wait. Every step is a step closer to living out my wildest dreams. Ruff ruff!
Please do comment, I hope that these blogs are interesting, arousing (wait til i post pics!) and that they do give an insight into the mind of a boy for whom this is not all a bit of adventurous fun, a bit of kinky sex.. But for whom this is life. I live for Sir and my boy, and I couldn't be happier.
Pup x
Location:On a train!
