I'm a versatile, always have been, always will be. No matter how dom I get, how many boys I've owned, I'll still wanna get tied up.. And no matter how deep I get into the position of my Master's boy, I'll still forever love dealing out torture on helpless innocent subbies.
My mindset at the moment takes this to ludicrously complicated extremes. Extremes to the point that aside from one constant, I haven't a frikkin clue what i'm horny for.
The constant I have pleasantly discovered is the fact that however dominant, forceful and controlling my wishes are, I have nothing but 100% submissive adulation for my Master. This is a good thing, my versatility has been ousted completely in his presence.
Outside of his presence though, Jesus fucking Christ. Take my slavebro for example, even though we have partially parted, he will forever be my bro and I'll forever be his Alpha. Except that isn't even simple, I mean fuck yes, fucking him sealed 100% in tape on all fours was the moment I really got my dom horn on.. But at the same time that grinning muscly sexpot does sit in my mind as someone who could happily get the cuffs out and give me what for. Repeatedly.
While at Masters feet last night, collared and periodically stroked, I was on MSN declaring exactly how I'd be planning to keep a potential slavepet, and detailing him with some rather horny mental imagery, as is my forte.
The whole time I'm not with Sir I seem to be filling the time with the hunt for a pet, the corruption of wide eyed potentials, and lots of dom horn. None of which affects my view of Master.
Taking my sub side, that is even more unquenchable in it's thirst for satisfaction. It's something I need to work on. I'll say it now... I'm a boundaholic. I am happiest in bondage, want to be kept in it practically permanently, and nag Master repeatedly to tie me up or have some play.
Even when tied though, or locked in my cage, my mind will zoom onto heavily dom thoughts..
Its something that will only get worse until my appetite is sated. I need a slaveboy, I need to dominate without it being some random, need it to have progression, watch a boy improve through training. Then of course sell him on the black Market to fat morally questionable Americans. Maybe not the last bit.
It is cool how switch I'm getting though, that I can be in one scenario yet experience the other side. It's great insight.
I JUST NEED MORE OF EVERYTHING. NOOOWWW.
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Friday, 4 June 2010
Weekend
It's the weekend, and I'm at work. This is rubbish for a number of reasons.
Firstly, I don't usually work them, in this business pretty much everyone higher up than me and anyone in support is off on weekends, so operational matters pause until Monday. This makes them the best days for me to take off.
Second, Sir is off on weekends and it's rubbish that I can't spend the day with him and that when I get home I just want to curl up and sleep as I've already been up since before 3am. If I don't sleep I'm invariably ratty and just end up bringing Master's mood down, which is never good.
Thirdly, weekends DRAG. The mornings are often painfully slow, it's 7am now and it feels like it should be noon. By noon it'll feel like tomorrow and by tomorrow I'll be back here again. In spirit, this job I never leave.
Was allowed to sleep in bed last night with Sir, which I'm glad of, he could tell I'm still feeling fragile and full of crappy feelings over how much I hate my job, and still upset over not seeing my lovely slavebro on Wednesday at a time when he needed me most. So glad to see that his exams went well though, would have upset me even more if I'd known that my bugger up Wednesday had affected his scores. Congrats bro, you're free! And hungover by the sounds of it.
I'm fully accustomed to my cage being my room now, rather than going splat on the bed and reading a book I am now happily crawling through the cage doors and curling up there instead.
The enclosure reminds me of the cosiness of when we used to caravan holiday and I had the bottom bunk, sitting up in the corner reading a book. Just the same comfortable homeliness can be found behind bars, but with that extra sense of belonging.
And no chemical toilet four feet away, thankfully.
Seven hours to go and I can leave for another day. For now I'll just type this and get annoyed with my iPhone for capitalising Reading. I don't want Reading, I want reading. Grargh.
Boy x
Firstly, I don't usually work them, in this business pretty much everyone higher up than me and anyone in support is off on weekends, so operational matters pause until Monday. This makes them the best days for me to take off.
Second, Sir is off on weekends and it's rubbish that I can't spend the day with him and that when I get home I just want to curl up and sleep as I've already been up since before 3am. If I don't sleep I'm invariably ratty and just end up bringing Master's mood down, which is never good.
Thirdly, weekends DRAG. The mornings are often painfully slow, it's 7am now and it feels like it should be noon. By noon it'll feel like tomorrow and by tomorrow I'll be back here again. In spirit, this job I never leave.
Was allowed to sleep in bed last night with Sir, which I'm glad of, he could tell I'm still feeling fragile and full of crappy feelings over how much I hate my job, and still upset over not seeing my lovely slavebro on Wednesday at a time when he needed me most. So glad to see that his exams went well though, would have upset me even more if I'd known that my bugger up Wednesday had affected his scores. Congrats bro, you're free! And hungover by the sounds of it.
I'm fully accustomed to my cage being my room now, rather than going splat on the bed and reading a book I am now happily crawling through the cage doors and curling up there instead.
The enclosure reminds me of the cosiness of when we used to caravan holiday and I had the bottom bunk, sitting up in the corner reading a book. Just the same comfortable homeliness can be found behind bars, but with that extra sense of belonging.
And no chemical toilet four feet away, thankfully.
Seven hours to go and I can leave for another day. For now I'll just type this and get annoyed with my iPhone for capitalising Reading. I don't want Reading, I want reading. Grargh.
Boy x
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Administration
On the Tube home once again, after the worst paperwork day in a while. I do truly despise Thursdays at work, a nightmarish whirlwind of wanky deadlines throughout the day, that I must hit whilst simultaneously trying to run a busy shop with one other member of staff. That, and my boss likes to visit on Thursdays, just to get in the way of managing stuff on time.
Today's paperwork resulted in a hideous profit loss due to me being shit when I first started. Can't wait for the call tomorrow!
So currently inexplicably sitting in a stationary train somewhere on the Piccadilly line in the dark. I can't wait to get home, to get into my cage and feel that lovely glow I get when locked inside.
Sir is home before me too which makes a nice change, and so there will be no self locking today, yay!
Even if I wanted to sleep on our big comfy double bed, I can't. My cage is my bed now, and Master has placed the bed out of bounds. Furniture is for people, cages are for slave pups. I was allowed to sleep in bed with him last night which was nice though. Not that we stayed awake long.
I'm loving the shift in my live in 24/7 status now the cage has arrived. Slowly but surely my human liberties and freedoms are being removed within the home. Confined to the cage and to sitting on the floor, looking up at flatmates on the sofa is humiliating yet assuring. I'm comfortable in who I am, and feel comfortable to express that in front of our housemates.
More than anything right now though, after a 14 and a half hour day, this puppy wants to SLEEP.
Boy x
Today's paperwork resulted in a hideous profit loss due to me being shit when I first started. Can't wait for the call tomorrow!
So currently inexplicably sitting in a stationary train somewhere on the Piccadilly line in the dark. I can't wait to get home, to get into my cage and feel that lovely glow I get when locked inside.
Sir is home before me too which makes a nice change, and so there will be no self locking today, yay!
Even if I wanted to sleep on our big comfy double bed, I can't. My cage is my bed now, and Master has placed the bed out of bounds. Furniture is for people, cages are for slave pups. I was allowed to sleep in bed with him last night which was nice though. Not that we stayed awake long.
I'm loving the shift in my live in 24/7 status now the cage has arrived. Slowly but surely my human liberties and freedoms are being removed within the home. Confined to the cage and to sitting on the floor, looking up at flatmates on the sofa is humiliating yet assuring. I'm comfortable in who I am, and feel comfortable to express that in front of our housemates.
More than anything right now though, after a 14 and a half hour day, this puppy wants to SLEEP.
Boy x
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Frustration
Yesterday was meant to be a good day, yesterday was meant to be a GREAT day, a day I've looked forward to since we planned it two weeks ago.
Yesterday I was meant to be in Bristol, visiting my slavebro who I haven't seen since our housewarming. Lack of money and lack of spare time had resulted in me being unable to go visit, and with bros exams he was far too busy to come to London. Alas finally a day cropped up where I could hop on the coach and spend the day with him.
The plan was for me, his alpha, to have the tables turned somewhat and be his playtoy for the day, Master had waived any limits on our play, and a day of intimacy, affection, bondage, servitude and horny bro fucking was on the cards. Awesome.
Up at 6am I wanted to get as much time in as possible, given I had to be back the same night as work at 430am meant an early night. Coach booked for 8am.
Long story short, two aborted tube journeys, one missed bus and a complete arse of a driver resulted in me not getting the 8, and going for the 9 bus and bring refused boarding. The to-ing and fro-ing and the heavily escalating oyster fares of touching in and out repeatedly at rush hour were bad enough, but the smack in the face of being denied the bus, even though according to bro there was never any issue if there are spaces, was the final straw.
Snatching the ticket out of the drivers hand, storming off the coach yelling, I informed bro what happened. I couldn't face getting on the tube again and I couldn't afford a new ticket. I angrily and miserably stomped home, locked myself in the cage and hugged tight the puptoy my bro gave me at Christmas, who sits by my side every night and is usually my cuddle partner. I spent two hours in the cage attempting to calm down, and fell asleep for a while. The cage is almost intoxicating, even though I knew I could get out, the sight of being surrounded by the bars calmed me. Nothing can get me, safe inside, my space. Breathe.
I decided that sulking was not the answer to improving my mood, and gave my good friend Ed a ring. A while later and we're in Islington. Fetish shopping retail therapy ahoy.
Of course, I couldn't afford to buy all the lovely things, such as this really nice puppy collar:
..but it was nice to do the kink crawl of Fettered, Regulation and Expectations again after several months.
After spending £27 on wasted travel for the day, and seeing a 75% off rubber hood for £5 in Regulation, I wanted to have SOMETHING to show for the day.
Got it home, tried it on. It's the best fitting hood I've ever had. The noseholes are perfectly located without slippage and the hood is tight without excess pressure.
A small mercy in a day of complete fail. Thankfully bro is coming to see us next weekend, so I won't be without his cuddles for too long. This boy can't wait to share the cage with his slavebro. It shall be awesome.
Boy x
Yesterday I was meant to be in Bristol, visiting my slavebro who I haven't seen since our housewarming. Lack of money and lack of spare time had resulted in me being unable to go visit, and with bros exams he was far too busy to come to London. Alas finally a day cropped up where I could hop on the coach and spend the day with him.
The plan was for me, his alpha, to have the tables turned somewhat and be his playtoy for the day, Master had waived any limits on our play, and a day of intimacy, affection, bondage, servitude and horny bro fucking was on the cards. Awesome.
Up at 6am I wanted to get as much time in as possible, given I had to be back the same night as work at 430am meant an early night. Coach booked for 8am.
Long story short, two aborted tube journeys, one missed bus and a complete arse of a driver resulted in me not getting the 8, and going for the 9 bus and bring refused boarding. The to-ing and fro-ing and the heavily escalating oyster fares of touching in and out repeatedly at rush hour were bad enough, but the smack in the face of being denied the bus, even though according to bro there was never any issue if there are spaces, was the final straw.
Snatching the ticket out of the drivers hand, storming off the coach yelling, I informed bro what happened. I couldn't face getting on the tube again and I couldn't afford a new ticket. I angrily and miserably stomped home, locked myself in the cage and hugged tight the puptoy my bro gave me at Christmas, who sits by my side every night and is usually my cuddle partner. I spent two hours in the cage attempting to calm down, and fell asleep for a while. The cage is almost intoxicating, even though I knew I could get out, the sight of being surrounded by the bars calmed me. Nothing can get me, safe inside, my space. Breathe.
I decided that sulking was not the answer to improving my mood, and gave my good friend Ed a ring. A while later and we're in Islington. Fetish shopping retail therapy ahoy.
Of course, I couldn't afford to buy all the lovely things, such as this really nice puppy collar:
..but it was nice to do the kink crawl of Fettered, Regulation and Expectations again after several months.
After spending £27 on wasted travel for the day, and seeing a 75% off rubber hood for £5 in Regulation, I wanted to have SOMETHING to show for the day.
Got it home, tried it on. It's the best fitting hood I've ever had. The noseholes are perfectly located without slippage and the hood is tight without excess pressure.
A small mercy in a day of complete fail. Thankfully bro is coming to see us next weekend, so I won't be without his cuddles for too long. This boy can't wait to share the cage with his slavebro. It shall be awesome.
Boy x
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Anticipation
It's Cagemas. On the tube home from work, raging hard on, excited about the prospects of what is to come from this day onwards. Less than three hours and the shiny box will be here.
Running through mind are so many questions, so many possible scenarios.. How will Master use this new dynamic in our relationship? He has the power to decide what part it takes, because a cage is not just another piece of kit, it isn't a new gag, it isn't a sexy new rubber suit.. It's an item with the potential to redesign how a slaveboy lives.
How often will Sir put his slave in it to sleep? I know that every night is out of the question, and for this I am glad. Why? Because those minutes before and after sleep, no matter how short, no matter how quick we succumb to closing our eyes, are always some of the most special minutes of the day.
The minutes held in Master's arms close, safe and secure. The minutes spent talking, affirming my place as one of his precious boys, the kisses down the back, the feeling of Master's smooth body against mine, his hard cock resting over my hole.
It is a truly wonderful thing that it just takes a display of affection to make the heart race. Holding each other, my tag round my neck jangled playfully, Master and slave's cocks both hard. I turn round to face, we kiss goodnight, and sleep blissfully.
I could never face being denied that every night, to be able to turn over again two minutes later to kiss Sir sensually down the spine and tell him I love him. In the cage, the bars keep all but my voice away from him.
Don't get me wrong, I will sleep wonderfully at his feet, locked away secure for the night, but I have grown accustomed to the warmth, the physical love of my Master as my bedpartner. I don't think Master would particularly wish to go without either.
This brings me to the day. Sir has already said he's looking forward to getting some peace, locking his boy away while he relaxes in another room. It's true, I never shut up, and so being restricted to my prison, probably cuffed and gagged, gives Sir that space he wants.
I have a feeling my caged life will predominantly be during the daylight hours.
Who will I share it with? I await the day I am locked with my head secured, my slavebro in the cage behind me. My hands cuffed to the bars, my body is all his, with noone able to enter the cage to stop him. While I'm his alpha, physically bro can easily overpower me. Tomorrow I'm visiting him for a day of servitude, which will be hot.. Dommed by younger pupbro, a little humiliating! He has a lot in mind, and to ensure he flexes his dom muscles to potential, neither myself or Sir have imposed any limits. Hot.
However Master decides he wishes to use the cage, i'm sure it'll prove a fantastic investment. Not often you can buy your ideal home for £350!
Do drop a comment :)
Boy x
Running through mind are so many questions, so many possible scenarios.. How will Master use this new dynamic in our relationship? He has the power to decide what part it takes, because a cage is not just another piece of kit, it isn't a new gag, it isn't a sexy new rubber suit.. It's an item with the potential to redesign how a slaveboy lives.
How often will Sir put his slave in it to sleep? I know that every night is out of the question, and for this I am glad. Why? Because those minutes before and after sleep, no matter how short, no matter how quick we succumb to closing our eyes, are always some of the most special minutes of the day.
The minutes held in Master's arms close, safe and secure. The minutes spent talking, affirming my place as one of his precious boys, the kisses down the back, the feeling of Master's smooth body against mine, his hard cock resting over my hole.
It is a truly wonderful thing that it just takes a display of affection to make the heart race. Holding each other, my tag round my neck jangled playfully, Master and slave's cocks both hard. I turn round to face, we kiss goodnight, and sleep blissfully.
I could never face being denied that every night, to be able to turn over again two minutes later to kiss Sir sensually down the spine and tell him I love him. In the cage, the bars keep all but my voice away from him.
Don't get me wrong, I will sleep wonderfully at his feet, locked away secure for the night, but I have grown accustomed to the warmth, the physical love of my Master as my bedpartner. I don't think Master would particularly wish to go without either.
This brings me to the day. Sir has already said he's looking forward to getting some peace, locking his boy away while he relaxes in another room. It's true, I never shut up, and so being restricted to my prison, probably cuffed and gagged, gives Sir that space he wants.
I have a feeling my caged life will predominantly be during the daylight hours.
Who will I share it with? I await the day I am locked with my head secured, my slavebro in the cage behind me. My hands cuffed to the bars, my body is all his, with noone able to enter the cage to stop him. While I'm his alpha, physically bro can easily overpower me. Tomorrow I'm visiting him for a day of servitude, which will be hot.. Dommed by younger pupbro, a little humiliating! He has a lot in mind, and to ensure he flexes his dom muscles to potential, neither myself or Sir have imposed any limits. Hot.
However Master decides he wishes to use the cage, i'm sure it'll prove a fantastic investment. Not often you can buy your ideal home for £350!
Do drop a comment :)
Boy x
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